it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
