Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
