He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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