I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
