it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
