Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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