How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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