Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
