I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
