Nicole vs. Life
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
