high people should be assigned attendants
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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