Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
