Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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