life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
