Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
