Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
