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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?

  (1-506): View more from New Brunswick

  Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom

  (636): View more from Missouri

  You know how us drunks love counting steps

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• (214): View more from Texas

  does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??

  (817): View more from Texas

  dude, everything can mix, this is college.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.

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• (760): View more from California

  The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.

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• (631): View more from New York

  If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it

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• (258): View more from

  I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.

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• (310): View more from California

  And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!

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