would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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