So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
