bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
