She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
