Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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