The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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