I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
