is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
