I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
