VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
