You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
