i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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