we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I party with great urgency now.
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