i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
