We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
