Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
