Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
