worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
