I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
this hospital has no fireball
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
