how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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