Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
