fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
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