dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
