I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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