he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
