i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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