i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
