What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
