When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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