Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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