He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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