woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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