Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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