I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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