My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
