from now on my penis is your penis
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
